Lacy Phillips: Manifesting What We Actually Want

“When I would witness somebody that I identify with in whatever capacity of what I'm calling in, have, what I want or are successful in what I would like to be successful in. You know, they are on that path to what I'm shooting for. I really realize that that would actually be tremendously more effective for my subconscious to go, oh, if they could do that or if they are doing that, I can as well. So beyond all, all of the visualizing I did back in the day until I was blue in the face, this would speed things up and make it really rapid,” so says Lacy Phillips, a global manifestation expert and speaker and  founder of To Be Magnetic. Lacy presents a unique manifestation formula, rooted in basic psychology, neuroscience, and her energetic gifts. Lacy’s manifestation formula is not your typical "think positive" and "visualize" method, but rather, she is known for a much deeper and more therapeutic response that requires clearing subconscious blocks first—only then, can you begin to call in and work toward what you most desire. Lacy offers a comprehensive digital workshop program called The Pathway, along with an excellent podcast, EXPANDED. I highly recommend tuning in. 

She shares with us the secrets of her manifestation success, as we discuss everything from identifying our sticky subconscious beliefs to reading our nervous system and its readiness for change to how to respond to tests on the way to rediscovering our authentic, worthy self. Lacy tells us that seeing is believing when it comes to manifestation, and encourages us to search for “expanders”—individuals, real or fictitious, who broaden our concept of reality. She challenges us to turn our envy towards those who have what we want, using them as proof positive, that what we want is not only possible, but achievable.  Everyone is being offered a ticket on the manifestation train, she assures us, it is just a matter of whether we choose to get on. I loved our conversation on Pulling the Thread.

EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS:

• The three pieces of manifestation…

• Resolving our sticky subconscious beliefs…

• Finding your expanders…

• Aligned action and being tested…

MORE FROM LACY PHILLIPS:

To Be Magnetic: Curated by Lacy Phillips

Listen to Lacy’s podcast, EXPANDED, on Spotify and Apple Podcast

Follow To Be Magnetic on Instagram and Twitter

Follow Lacy on Instagram 

TRANSCRIPT:

(Edited slightly for clarity.)

ELISE LOEHNEN:

I'm actually a very good manifeser, but where I always get stuck, which I like, I really credit you with putting people through these paces. I never growing up, or even in my adult life, have ever really given consideration to what I actually want or need, and those being two distinct categories. And so I feel like the manifesting aside, which I wanna get into, what I am so impressed by what you guys focus on is that core identification. We talked about this before, the role of envy, of finding these expanders in your life and reframing that as examples of how to take these microsteps or big steps forward. Like what would you say is foundational? Is it that like understanding that actual desire? Cause I know you yourself had so many trajectories and hit walls and now you are where you are.

LACY PHILLIPS:

To give just the teeniest bit of backstory, which I kind of like to preface, because the way that I even came about with expanders is I tried the old, New Age model of manifestation for so long. Many of us who are in that world are familiar with “think positive,” uh, you know, “fake it until you make it,” vision boards, all of that stuff. And I really did it. Um, but the key components that I found that were so important is we manifest from our subconscious. That's huge. So getting back to that piece, I started to realize through mirror neurons and neuropsychology, essentially, I kind of, you know, I like to mix those two things together, that I realized that when it come to triggers and blocks and our subconscious imprinted belief system that we developed between zero to seven, as a lot of us know from simple psychology, that when it came to actually manifesting a really core piece, rather than visualizing what you want into existence, which I think, you know, there's a lot of science behind that, that that's a really wonderful practice. But for me, it was actually when I would my mirror neurons, I would meet people and I would see people that I identified with and one, you know, variation to another.

So it could be how I grew up socioeconomically. It could be professionally. It could be age. So it's not just, they are identical to me. We call them fragment expanders. It can be aspects of what I'm manifesting. When I would witness somebody that I identified with in whatever capacity of what I'm calling in, have what I want, or are successful in what I would like to be successful in. Or, you know, they are on that path to what I'm shooting for. I really realized that that would actually be tremendously more effective for my subconscious to go, “Oh, if they could do that, or if they are doing that, I can as well.” So beyond all, all of the visualizing I did back in the day until I was blue in the face, this would speed things up and make it really rapid.

And the other piece to it that I think is really healing in our society, which you and I talked about a lot on my podcast is it really took me out of the space. I call it, I think my friends and I, a lot of us call it psychic static, that I think women can have amongst each other. And that's a really a big thing that we're taught, I think in society, to be pitted against each other or to compare amongst one another. I started to realize that a lot of that faded for me, because I started to take envy and completely reframe it and look at these people that I'm triggered by and realize, oh, the piece that I'm triggered by either it's, it's shadow, there's something in myself that I need to integrate and I'm witnessing what we call expanders, or I'm actually witnessing completely and clearly a person that I desire to have what they have.

So expanders completely transformed, not only women relationships for me and the way that I, you know, see the world and view the world, but it really has sped up healing for me as well. That, you know, I now, when I realize I'm being triggered by I something that there is a piece inside of me that is receiving a gift, a mirror, like we talk about a lot in spirituality. I'm receiving this reflection, you know, through this amazing other being on the planet. That's either showing me what I can have, or what I want, or what I'm growing into as a person, or they're showing me the work that I need to do to integrate within myself. So it's, it's so beautiful. And when you kind of start to go into this lane of manifestation, that's really based on neuroscience and psychology, it really takes a lot of that ambiguous gray area out of the picture.

It's something you can work with, you know what I mean? And so I love, you know, I always talk about, there are three things that have to be emotion to manifest. It's unblocking your subconscious limiting beliefs that you imprinted, expanding through expanders, and really showing your subconscious aha that's possible. And then the third part is what we call aligned action. So taking action, you know, to show the self worth piece, the integrated piece. That's what creates true magnetism. And so the piece of expanders is so big and probably the one that feels a little gray. I feel like all of us who scroll on Instagram can find expanders within minutes, because most often or not, something will trigger us, or something will inspire us. And either of those feelings, they're all relating back to the same thing, which is expansion.

ELISE:

Uh, there's so much powerful stuff to unpack in what you just said. I mean, this, the way that women are raised, which is typically on a diet of scarcity of opportunity, you know, seats at the table, um, roles. We, we are trained that if there's room for one, that's it. Sometimes there's not even tokenism it's twokenism, right? But that, that invariably were each other's enemies rather than seeing all of those other seats as potentially available to us. Um, we've sort of been trained into this idea that it's you or me, Lacy, we can't both have abundance, or are the lives that we want. So I love that, sort of reframe of like, actually this is the toxic myth that we continue to enforce and abide by, um, that needs to be dismantled. So I think that that's really powerful. I think too, this idea of these limiting self-conscious beliefs, which get in the way, I mean, I've done, I do a lot of work with my subconscious beliefs in part, because it is that again, it's that whether it's internalized patriarchy or just internalized, “who do you think you are?” But that instinct that we have to sort of be like, that's not possible for me without really examining why.

LACY:

And that it runs on auto and on loop, that's also, you know, biologically, so unhelpful of how, how much work goes into changing your neural pathways and how simply they're imprinted, so quickly and easily. In especially young childhood. I mean, I watch it with my infant, you know, she's nine months old, and I'm watching in real time where in her book we're opening it up and you see an apple and then, you know, she sees an apple on the table and then she feels it at the store and just how quick those neurons are firing and moving. And imagine any of us, all of us, all openly say felt some version of shame or pain, or very big versions of that throughout childhood. And then now we're having to really wrestle with that. And something that's been coming up for me lately, based on what you're talking about exactly.

I think about this a lot, because as someone who is, has been chipping away at my subconscious, I'd say for at least 12 years now, consistently and conscious, and then has been expanding, you know, so much work to do. I think that'll be a journey forever for many people. But there's something that's been coming up for me a lot lately. And this is an interesting conversation, you know, may be patriarchy, which I imagine it kind of has to be, I was walking down my friend's steps the other day. And I was like, what would my, my life look like? What would I desire if I hadn't been shown any structure at all? You know, like everything that society says is structurally makes you happy. And I was thinking, you know, we have a house, we have the family, we have the dogs, you know, like this really quintessential, well, this is happy.

We have the success. You know, we, we are in the place now, monetarily, like we're comfortable, and I'm like, great, but who would I be? You know, what would my partner desire? What would we desire as humans? If none of that had been fed to us. That's been such a big question coming up. And I know that you do, you've done so much research on, you know, different societies through the beginning of time. I mean, does that ever come up for you? What, like, what would that be if we weren't in all of our like ticky tacky boxes? Like I just, that's something I've been really philosophizing on.

ELISE:

Well, I think that the core, the sort of the, the core tenants that you just mentioned are what make us human, right? The desire for connection, and love, and to be seen, and to feel supported in how we're designed and the gifts that we're designed to bring. You know, I think the way that people's sort of inner gifts have been thwarted or suppressed is a tragedy, really, I think that we're all, you know, we are all part of this web of reciprocity and it's in, particularly in this strange time. We're all being called to sort of serve our purpose. It could be in parenthood, it could be in the wider world. And again, we’re obviously trained to compare and contrast who has it better or whose job is more important. But I think that our heritage is this affiliative, partnership style, cyclical, like maybe come in and you do your thing for a while, and then you retreat.

Um, but this supportive community that I do think love, family, procreation, like all of these things are core who we are, as a survival and safety and security. And I think that collectively, when, when we were involved in like a time of mutual dependence and mutual aid, a lot of those concerns were taken care of. It's always so interesting to me that people talk about the stress of modern day. And then they sort of compare it to like fear of lions and tigers. Cause when you think about it, you would think that our forebears would be the most terrified, right? Like the idea of that is so terrifying.

LACY:

And even hunting and gathering like, or like first farmers, you know, not crop completely, you know, going bad, you have nothing to eat like that is stressful.

ELISE:

But you know, before sort of before we were agrarian, when we were nomadic, when we were gathering primarily foraging, apparently we were not as stressed. And I find that really interesting. Well, I think that we talk about sort of the modern, acute modern stress as like somehow greater and more significant than our ancestors. But I think part of it was that we were all doing life together. So like if I couldn't find any berries, Lacy, like you did find berries and we took care, we parented in an alloparenting style and raised children communally. It's not that Teddy wouldn't be yours primarily, but that there were a lot of other people to take care of her. And absolutely. So I think that's who we really are. And we have been, we're really stuck in this cult of independence, rugged individualism.

It is your job to go out and figure out how to do it all your and parent in these nuclear family ways and structure is important and we need markets. We need all of this stuff. It's not like a, let's all just go back to the wild, but it's become bent and oppressive. And very scarcity based when we also recognize like, actually we live on a planet of abundance, it's being distorted by extreme disparities in wealth in a way that is not appropriate. Like, you know, we won't get into politics, but it's this, it's like, we need a little bit of a little bit more socialism. I'm not saying we're gonna be communists, but we need to be taking care of each other. That is who we are. That is the point. So that's what I think that it would look like. I think it would look like the safety, those deep safety and issues abated, and all of us actually doing this really important work, which is very hard, which is like, who am I? What do I want and need? And how can I serve?

LACY:

Absolutely. I love this conversation because what you're touching on is true abundance, right? Like getting back to manifestation, that is true abundance. And even as someone who I would myself, I would now label as being very abundant in all of the ways I like recognizing my privilege completely across the board from, you know, having a home, to just food and all the, I mean, it's like, it's all the privileges. I really recognize that I have all of those, you know, and I see even people in our community who are also landing in that spot, you know, through this work. And so I look at it and it's like, like, I guess a bigger question that's been coming up for me lately is, are these conversations where it's like, how do we start in our small communities now, like making the greater changes?

So I guess there are two things here that I'm sort of coming up on to create this conversation, but it's like number one, you know, getting something we're constantly looking at is trying to be accessible, to allow people to get into the space of playing with manifestation, playing with energetics and abundance, you know, and that's through truthfully a lot of self-healing expansion and then taking that aligns with their worth and, and really setting them up into a position of, of whatever that looks like for them, individual abundance. Okay. And then let's take the people who are arriving in that, you know, how do we start to use that abundance? Like what actions are you taking right now? And I know obviously these conversations they're so important. But that's something that's been coming up for me lately. Like what is the next step in order to let this be a complete ripple effect?

And, and I don't quite know what that is yet. It hasn't hit me. I haven't channeled it yet. But it is something I continue to philosophize, especially as our brand grows, especially as we, we continue to reach, you know, bigger people and have different tiers of, you know, people who are just starting and just doing the subconscious unblocking and the healing and the work, to the people who are now like advanced in it. They're also asking, okay, what's next? You know, and I would say specific with our community, we're one of the few that I, think who are manifestation that aren't like how to manifest a yacht. Like it's. So not that at all. It's all about like your authentic self, and integration, and what that looks like for you. So I guess there are quite a few things in there, but that's something, those are things I've been thinking about. And I'm like, I wanna talk to Elise about those. ,

ELISE:

I love of these ideas and I think, you know, the not wanting to manifest a yacht, it's like, again, that's the arrival fallacy that so many of us are trained on, like, well, if I just had a bigger house, and like that is such a myth, I think many people are coming arriving at that. Like what, and again, it gets to this, what are your needs and what are your wants? And I think for most of us, if we can satisfy our needs, which is that safety, security, and feeling of purpose, like that's pretty rad. Like that's pretty much, you know, typically I think what what's deeply satisfying to most people, at least that's how I felt in my life. You know, I think what we're going through collectively a great awakening, and some people have been awake for longer, and clamoring for everyone else to wake the fuck up, and are understandably impatient about that.

I think that we're starting to just, even in the last five years, 10 years really see and have these conversations, again, many that are decades old, but that are really going into mass consciousness about, what is the system? And like, what are these systemic inequities and what are we carrying forward? Um, you know, you look again at the arc of humanity. It's like, we are, might not feel that way, but becoming far less, you know, more and more humane and evolved and less barbaric and horrible to each other over time. But these are, in this book that I'm writing about and sort of trying to it through some of the history of the patriarchy as quickly as, as possible in a way that people can really like grok, digest, without drowning them in it.

But the foundation of patriarchy is enslavement. And it is women and children. And we were the one we were the first, we a first to be sort of otherized. It happened when, like within the conquering of tribes. And that's where the art of enslavement was refined and perfected, and where women were fed this idea that we are inherently inferior, where that idea became that we are less weak or we are, and less powerful. That's where that idea became natural. And then that was the system of oppression as we know used until recently. And there's still variations of this happening throughout the world. We're not in the post-enslavement world. But it has long teeth. And obviously we're, we're seeing that now in terms of reparations and understanding like how a lack of equity defines a world that we think for so many, we were always taught like, oh, you know, even Frederick Douglass, talking about like, oh, well this is a meritocracy and work. And that sort of Puritanical that, that work ethic will serve you well, anyone, and now we're sort of recognizing the mythology of that.

So I feel like we're waking up to all of this and people are sort of starting to see the structure. And then once we see the structure, we can start to, it's like, it's like a meta subconscious belief system. Right. And so, but once we start to see these things and bring them into awareness, we can start to address them and reject them, and heal them, solve them, integrate it, metabolize it. So I feel like that's collectively also what's happening, everything on the micro to the macro. And I think that we're also seeing a gray call around like the democratization of healing and how essential this is for all of us.

LACY:

Accessibility.

ELISE:

Like you're only as well as your least well child, like we're as well as our least well citizen. So I feel optimistic that we're actually now starting to understand the playing board, and can make some move. And I think, you know, going back to manifestation, these subconscious beliefs are sticky and deep, but do you, in your experience, and obviously you’ve work-shopped so many people through this now. How quickly can they, once they're identified and like brought to air, how quickly do they resolve?

LACY:

Well, it's really interesting because when we brought in right now, you know, we have a wonderful neuroscientist/psychiatrist that we work with and we've had many podcast episodes, we title this series “Explained.” And so we hop on on, and we really talk about like the neuroscience and psychology, and that's usually what I'm getting at because I'm very result-based when it comes to manifestation. Maybe that's my wounded, inner child. It's like, I wanna see results and, you know, I wanna fix everyone. And so a lot of, you know, the conversation is, you know, we're like really talking through neural pathways and healing through, you know, anything to do with psychology. And, and it's fascinating because everybody's different, but we did kind of really work deeply with her to create a system within what we have as our daily practice, you know, and it's all through hypnosis, like a very specific version that we do in-house.

And then she really taught us some key things that had to happen to create the neural pathways quicker. And it's things like action after, it was humongous. It's just so fast. So like, let's say you go in and, and you get to the subconscious, you pull it forward in this hypnosis, and you really find the root memory. And, and, we reprogram is what we, we call it. It doesn't mean that you're changing the memory. It means that you're changing the emotion surrounding the memory that happened, from disempowered to empowered essentially. And then from that, you know, it's, it's things like the journaling, but she really taught us that you have to follow up and reread your journal prompts. So she's taken things to a whole another, a whole another level to help that go faster. But it's fascinating because what I find, you know, I'm simply the person in house that can read energetics and channel this, you know, system.

But I think it really depends on how ready you are for change, like how ready you are to, how ready your nervous system is for change. So that can look so different for many people, you know, and getting back to what we're talking about. Like I'm already in a privilege, even though I grew up with two young parents and, you know, I have a story and, I had a big lack mentality, et cetera, but simply being a white female in the areas I grew up. I mean, I already inherently had, I would say a nervous system that was more open, more relaxed. So it really depends, I think, on people's trauma, where they come from, the stories that were imprinted in them of what's possible not only in life, but in healing. Like what's really possible in happiness, in a calm, nervous system, in a healthy body, a healthy mind.

So I think that's one piece, like how open is your nervous system? How ready is it? And I think that we have not a great deal of control over that, but I think we have a great deal of identifying where our nervous system is. You know, because some of us, if we're really, really deep in our trauma still, we always recommend like do the side-by-side with a therapist, do this with a support group, if you can't afford a therapist, etcetera. But based on that, you know, we tend to have an idea like if, if I'm still really deep in my trauma and I haven't addressed any of it, a lot of our nervous system and our subconscious is going to be very closed off. It's kind of like a shell, you know, it's like clam.

It's like, no, no, no, because if I open a up, there's a lot of pain there. So I think to me, what I've witnessed working with many people. How ready is your nervous system? You know, where are you at on that, that scale? So it's not like how ready are you for your manifestation to come through? It's truly like how ready are you to go on this journey to fully open, to open up Pandora's box and look in and clean out the cobwebs, and start to give yourself a hug, and start to change everything. So that's one piece. And then the second piece is how expanded are you and how self aware are you? You know, so getting back to that conversation earlier about expanders, some people can be so deep in their shadow. I've been there before, where, when you witness somebody who has what you want or is successful in what you want, it can be extremely triggering and it'll be so hard to get past that and do the work which we show you of how to find that to be actually really expansive for your subconscious. So also to give just a little bit of history to people with the expander piece, you know, which is the second really big part of this process.

If we are deep in our shadow, in the way I think many people listening to this are familiar with shadow. Anytime that we experience shame or pain growing up, often we took that aspect. So say, you know, and I'll give a very surface level example, but say, when I'll give a personal example and this is extremely surface level, but it shows, and I think this highlights, you know, things we've been talking about. But I remember walking into a store one day and there was a woman walking in front of us and she had had a lot of cellulite on her legs and my mom pointed it out. And she said, if you don't stop eating the way you've been eating, you'll look like that. So that's a really good example. And like this is like patriarchy in a nutshell, like the most like obvious example of that.

But uh, I remember going, oh, if I look like that, I'm not lovable. And that's a really good example and a very surface, non, emotionally charged version of, okay, cool. Well then if I look like that, I need to put that into my shadow. So what that means is like pieces of us that we have disassociated from either through witnessing somebody being shamed. And oh, if I behave the way that person's behaving and these people who are supposed to love me and I'm supposed to feel safe around are judging that person. I better do everything to not be anything like that person, because getting back to the crux of society, love and connection is humongous for survival, right? That's still how I think we're biologically programmed. So kind of like rounding back to my earlier conversation, how much are we willing to open up our shadow and go, oh, a lot of this isn’t my story.

A lot of this was programmed into me either through media, through familial, through societal, through, I like to say like educational at school. I picked up a lot of stuff there through this work, you know, especially in public school and stuff like that. So how willing are we to go anytime I'm triggered by something outside of me, if I start to take accountability and I don't mean if you've gone through like massive trauma that you're saying, it's my fault. That's not at all what I mean, but the way that I like to propose it is if I like, if I'm wanting to heal and I'm wanting to start expanding and unblocking subconscious beliefs, how willing am I to take my power back by saying, look, if I have control over this, this experience, you know, like I'm gonna take accountability that, that thing that happened, I'm actually gonna take my power back by opening up and starting to shift and transform that, which we call integrating our shadow.

That those two sectors are going to really, really determine how quickly I think someone's subconscious can shift. So how open is your nervous system? How open am I and willing to integrate my shadow? Because one is going to unblock your subconscious limiting beliefs, which we teach in manifestation is literally, the wall that keeps your manifestation from coming through, literally saying, please stay away from me. You are not safe and I can't have you. So whether it's love or money or, you know, it could be something just like self-worth. There's something inside of you that you picked up very specific instances of trauma. And it can be, when I say trauma, some people are like, but I had the best childhood and I had this experience and I'll give this example when I was doing a speaking tour, her, I was in London, and I met up with a friend's friend.

We all had dinner, you know, after, and, and she was this very successful woman. She had exited her company, you know, like really on fire, from a business standpoint. And she was like, I can't understand why I haven't found like the loving relationship that I really desire. And so I'm like, cool let's, let's open up and just very briefly and quickly look at your childhood. And she was like, oh, my parents had the best relationship. They're still together today. They're so compatible. And I'm like, awesome. Did they have the relationship that you want? And she was like, oh God, no, my mom was a stay at home mom. It was like, you know, it was like, she could never follow her dreams. My dad was very successful and I was like, right. So when you were little, looking out of your lens at your parents' relationship, you were like, oh, that's a jail.

Like I literally, for my own personal, authentic self, like that looks like I would be really stuck in a cage. So in your world, you've done everything in your adult life to get away from that, like, you've become so successful. You've exited your company. You're, you know, you're like starting all these other companies, but you're single because still subconsciously your small child is thinking that the imprintation that she witnessed of her parents, that's what love has to be. Your relationship has to be. And it's like, you have to expand out of that. So I was like, how many other women do you know like yourself that are in relationships that you desire? And she's like, none. I was like, cool. So your subconscious is literally never seen an expander that's like you, and has a relationship that you desire. So right now your subconscious when it comes to love, literally has the wall up, which we call blocks that that are, that's saying like, stay back.

This isn't what I want. It's not safe because it's still running on that, you know, programming that that's what a relationship has to be. So that really shows really clearly how one would have to unblock and how open are you to I, you know, and expanding, you know, and really, really going out there and finding and showing your subconscious for the first time. Oh, for my personal, authentic self, this is what would be right for me. So it kind of like that's a very long-winded, you know, explanation to tell you it can happen very quickly based on those two factors. Or it can take time if you're not ready, if you're, you know, your nervous system is, is not ready to open up to all of that. Or if you haven't had the right support to make you feel safe, to be able to do that or the right community, you know, and that's a huge part of our program is community huge, huge, huge.

ELISE:

Oh, I think it's a really powerful example. Um, I was at this retreat with this woman, Carissa Schumacher, who I work with, who channels Yeshua. She's amazing. In a retreat, when she was channeling, this woman, we, we had submitted questions and this older woman was like, why, you know, why haven't I had a relationship and why haven't or why haven't I been able to attract a relationship? Carissa and Yeshua, was like you guys and your law of attraction, like that is not the law. Like what I would ask you is what are you repelling? How are you repellent? Like, what is it that you are like, this isn't about attracting. And like, if I wanna I'll make it, I mean, it goes back to sort of how you open with the, the way that manifestation has been taught, which also create, make people paranoid. Right. Because you're scared of your own thoughts, your own conscious thoughts.

Like if I think that it's gonna come true. So what are you repelling? Yes. And so going back to, so that's the unconscious blocking and then I had, but in the concept of expanders, you talked about fragment expanders, I've heard sort of your checklist, but what are the qualities, like you might not want anything about, you might only want one tiny part. Right. But you can still knit together what it would look like for you.

LACY:

Yeah. I think this is a really big deal in the work, because I know when we, initially I initially launched on my own, people were like, ah, Hey, I live in a small town. How do I find, you know, this person that, that inhabits all of these qualities. And, and that's where I started to, you know, and what I talk about with manifestation and my gift of channeling, I can read energetics and I'm a clear cognizant. So it's actually kind of tricky because I just know things and it took me many years to trust that I know, I don't get to hear, I don’t don't get to see, I have like very small abilities in that, but mine is just knowing, which is really hard to hone down. And once I did, it's like reading the energetics of manifestation started to feel like the way I can put it kind of into material terms.

It's like, when you're just sort touching silk like this, you learn how to, how to feel into certain energetic pieces. And one of them, I started to go, okay, well, there's such a thing as fragment expanders. And why that analogy that I just gave matters is because you can start to feel into, on social media while watching TV. I don't, you, you know, maybe people are watching TV. I think it's a great place to find expanders because our subconscious is completely on automatic. During that time, it comes forward, we're in a hypnotic state watching TV, you know? So if you throw on a movie that say, there's nothing about this romcom that you identify with, except for the version of the two best friends in it, their dynamic. And you've been really trying to manifest community and I say romcom because it's lighthearted. You know, it's not too heavy.

And so you're really, really identifying and you're in the subconscious hypnotic state. Your subconscious is imprinting in real time. Oh wow. That's possible. And I'll give a little example of this. I like to give these examples. So I hope it doesn't make episode too long-winded, but my astrologer who I've been great friends with for years had been really trying to manifest a partner. And she had she's from, you know, like the Upper East Side of New York, et cetera, had always attracted these men. Like her father, like very powerful older men. And she started watching Sons of Anarchy, which was kind of offbrand for her. And she had this like very visceral experience with one of the characters on it where, and we do live in LA where she was like, am I supposed to be with it? I was like, you'd be surprised how often I hear this.

And this happens, maybe I don't know, but the odds are slim. So I think he might be married. The odds are slim. But anyway, what you're witnessing is your soul is finally communicating for the first time to you, where you're really listening to what the experience desires and what that was. You know, it was like somebody who was younger, and rugged, and could like, you know, um, just like walked on the wild side, had an accent. It was so different, playful, you know, a little dark, a little bit light, you know, complex. And so I was like you're and I could tell where she was at in her process. She was very, very, very close to calling in her a partner, literally the next week she walks into Rose Café, and a guy with the same type of accent who had just gotten off of his motorbike with his helmet in hand, walked up and asked her out, I mean, almost identical to this character.

And it's such a good example of, you know, and that's like not, she was witnessing for the first time, like a very big expander, but there are fragments, and you can get those from anywhere. And so one term that we've coined recently on one of these explained episodes is there are also bridge expanders. So like let's take the person who is trying to call in a completely different career. You know, once the pandemic hit, when I was explaining and channeling at the top of it from an energetic level of why it was a blessing in many people's lives was it's taking any of us that are in a rut, or not on our aligned path, and it's knocking us right off of that, whether we like it or not. It's bringing into focus what our soul desires and maybe how close we are to that, or how far away we are from that based on these societal models we've been fed that we have to do to be happy.

And so a big piece of that was a lot of people were changing careers, right? They were starting podcasts. They were starting new entrepreneurial endeavors and really kind of listening to themselves for the first time. And had the ability at home, may have been, you know, that they were receiving…I think my assistant told me she received a severance. You know, she had finally the first time in her life, she could just be at home and do what she wanted. And so the beauty of that, let's say you're manifesting a whole separate career during that time, where you are now, and what I would get into my practice a lot when I was working one-on-one with people, I would say very big percentage were lawyers. They would come to me like I hate my career and I hate my job. And that's not to say all lawyers do.

Some people really get into the right profession, but many of them, you know, it was the road that was, is fed to them. Like if you do this, you're lovable, you know, and you'll be secure and you'll be set. You're kind of hitting those things that you talked about: safety, security, but the lack potentially of purpose. And I think purpose is such a humongous driver for mental health, in my opinion. And that's you know, a very brass thing to say, because I'm not a mental health expert, but the work I've done with people purpose, which I like to call what your soul desires is tremendous for happiness, tremendous. So long-winded, but let's just take, you know, that person, who's maybe a lawyer and they're like I want to be a yoga instructor. I mean, whatever the thing is, it could be anything.

I wanna be a, I wanna be a fishing, you know, coach, I don't know whatever the thing is, but you're so far away from success in that different, you know, field that I tell people it's so important to go find bridge expanders. So who is a person that you identify with who has gone on and completely changed careers and maybe they're at the midpoint of that success. It doesn't have to mean that they're in the exact career you want, it's just to show the mechanics in your subconscious to open up that clock, and look for the first time, and see the mechanics inside and how they work. Because if you are somebody who went from like, let's say taking the bar, becoming an associate after a couple of internships, as you know, like a legal whatever. Now you're, you've been in a firm and your whole trajectory is just to keep climbing and you know, doing better until you become a partner.

Not one aspect of that. I don't know I've never been a lawyer, but to me, not one aspect of that really cries entrepreneur, right? So it's like you have to go and find what we call bridge, or fragment, or if you're lucky enough to have somebody in your life that you identify with, who's completely in the other career that you want, and is successful, and is willing to maybe apprentice, or show you to, again, open up those mechanics inside of your subconscious to go step 1, 2, 3, and 4 usually gets to this. And your subconscious goes, oh, whoa, if you did step one, I definitely get like, that's a big piece. I'll see with people. They'll have that aha moment where they'll say, if you could do that, I could definitely do that. That's when, you know, you found the right expansion. So that's such a big piece and that's where it's like, you know, not to get back to the very first point I was making, but visualization can only take you so far because who you're contending with when you're manifesting is your subconscious, period.

ELISE

Yeah. Sort of the only competition.

LACY:

Literally the only competition.

ELISE:

Yeah. No, I think it's so powerful to think about the ways that we can use each other, other to embolden ourselves to dream bigger. And like that's, that's, what's required, I think socially, and it's not again, not an either/or like a leapfrogging. It’s a you are showing me what's possible, and that's an amazing gift, and not a threat. You talked about taking action and so what does that look like?

LACY:

Yeah. And so the aligned action piece, it can show up in many ways, but the energetic of it, that's so important. Getting back to the three things that have to be in motion, it's unblocking, expanding, and then the aligned action. And so the aligned action can look a couple of different ways and what I believe in my own channeling and again, that like silky dancing with the universe, I believe that the greatest intention, you know, of why we're here. And I won't say that this is the biggest, but when it comes to manifestation, I think the greatest intention is getting back to our whole, authentic, worthy selves. You know, that we literally, our souls were as it was, you know, I don't know, floating around our parents and about to take a body like that, energetic, you know integration. And I think through childhood, again, through media, society, familial, et cetera, we have a lot of imprintation of pain, you know, and shame, and things that make us disassociate from that.

And so the aligned action piece is all about anything you need to do directly, that you can see with what you're calling in that will help you to get deeper into that aligned, authentic, worthy space. So for some people that can look like jumping off of a cliff, I mean, we have like very step-by-step, through the process while you're doing this, actionables, but it can look like, I know I'm in the wrong relationship and calling in the right one. And it's like, what are the actions I need to take. A big piece of this is being tested, you know, and a lot of people never talked about this in manifestation. I started to see this pop up every time I was manifesting that I would be tested, and what that looks like, say calling in a new relationship. And let's say in the prior one, I had been kind of a doormat, and I was dating the wrong people or, you know, whatever, low self-worth behavior I was doing because of my own, you know, lack of unblocking yet. What will happen when we start to call in that new dating experience, or new relationship, that we're really desiring is the universe will be like, okay, cool.

You know what you're asking for: The aligned, authentic, worthy self of that person is here. And right now, the way you are behaving is here. And so what action needs to happen to communicate that like energetic resonance. And so what it'll often do is it'll send a dating experience that is very similar to your past experience, you know, and you have to go like, oh, I see what you're doing universe here. No, thanks. Passing this. And then it starts to get harder because you know, what you'll be presented are experiences that are very close to your list and all of the things you're looking for, but say maybe emotionally unavailable. It's the person who it's like everything I called in, oh my gosh, this is my soulmate, et cetera. And then it's like, but they just communicated to me that they don't want anything serious if that's what I'm desiring. And so those are what we call tests. And so that aligned action piece is usually passing tests or taking any type of action you need. Getting out of an experience, pivoting an experience, et cetera, to show the universe and communicate, okay, I'm really getting on my path. Like I'm really in my worth.

ELISE:

Yeah, no, it's so true. I feel like, those tests, they come fast and furious. I really fail a lot of them, where that's the phase I'm in right now where it's like, I do have, I'm starting to really understand the dream that I have for myself, which feels attainable. And then I'll continually make decisions based on fear and scarcity and busyness and distraction. And then I'm like, why am I giving up on myself?

LACY:

The beautiful thing is the moment that you, you know, even in those moments of say busyness, like you didn't even have it within you to like sit down and get clear and say like, is this intentional with what I want my bigger picture? You know, like, let's just say it was busy. The beautiful thing is, is the universe just keeps sending tests. Just know it, you can't fail. There's just another opportunity. And I like to say, it's kind of like the carrot being dangled where it's like, are you going to go after the carrot, or you’re going to go, it's cool, I'll eat this instead, which is right for me. And that's when the universe goes, oh finally.

ELISE:

It's so true. It's so true. I love your program. I think it's so powerful. And I think too, I have this tendency and it's, again, it goes back to the social programming of like blame the mother, blame the parents, like someone's to blame. And so much of this has outside of the family or it's intergenerational and you're carrying on patterns. Um, and it's no one's fault. It's just your responsibility to fix it for yourself.

LACY:

And like, that's the piece, you know, pending on where we are in our pain that I can just love to say, like to reframe the whole point is doing this work, like getting to a place where you're integrated enough, where you take your power back. Like that's really rather than pointing fingers or, you know, it's really about empowerment essentially. Like, you know, even deep, deep traumas where you get to a point where you're like, wow, that person like hurt people, hurt people, you know? And it's, it's in a way, not their fault, you know? So when you start to get to that integrated place, a lot of the blame, you know, starts to fall. And, and I think that's where the true freedom is, you know. But it takes time and everybody has their process. And I like the last thing I sit around and do is blame my parents, cuz that's only, it's you're gonna stay.

It's the same thing as “think positive.” Like you stay in the same comfortable zone forever. You don't push past it. And, and I do believe like we're here and we're headed in the direction of consciousness. If we're on the train, I think everybody's being offered the train, but it's like in this lifetime, are we gonna hop on it? And how far are we going to go? You know, what stops do we have along the way? And, and the beauty of it, the further you go on the train, the less, the more freedom you have, the less that you feel, those feelings anymore.

ELISE:
I have many friends who have done Lacy's workshops, she has many sort of the main manifestation one. And then as well as other ones around this unblocking work. And I really think it's a powerful program. It's funny, she sort of was like, oh, I'm so results obsessed, but I love stuff like this, that lives in the world that, that people think of as being more woo-woo, where you can actually point to proof and get that assurance or reassurance that you're moving in the right direction. And if you can't tell, I am exceptionally enthusiastic about this idea of expanders and reframing the way that we tend to be taught, to think about women who are modeling lives that we would like to have for our ourselves, that it is always taught to us as an “off with her head.” When the reality is there is more than enough room and expansion and abundance available for all of us.